MUSIC - Draft​

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It is amazing how good it feels to have your feelings articulated into words when you are unable to come up with them on your own. Many musicians have a knack for doing just that. Some artists and songs that I have found particularly helpful or have had a profound impact on my well-being include:

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Gerry & The Pacemakers "Never Walk Alone" - I grew up in the 90's and 00's, when making "mixes" (mixed-tapes and mixed-CDs) was common.  My mother loved oldies music, so I made her countless mixes.  Over the years, she made it a point to mention how much she loved the CDs I made her, how much they meant to her, and how many times she listened to them.  The week that she passed away, I was given the neat, organized zippered binder where she lovingly kept all those CDs.  The very first one I picked at random had this song on it.  I listen to this song to feel close to her and to remind myself I am not alone.  

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"When you walk through a storm, hold your head up high, and don't be afraid of the dark.

At the end of a storm, there's a golden sky, and the sweet silver song of a lark. 

Walk on through the wind, walk on through the rain, though your dreams be tossed and blown.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart and you'll never walk alone.

You'll never walk alone." - Gerry & The Pacemakers​

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NF - NF is an incredible musician who does not hold back.  With his raw emotion conveyed through catchy rhymes, it often feels as if he is singing from my perspective about my story and experiences.  My playlist is literally called "Are you me, NF?" because of the times I resonate with his lyrics.  His bravery by being open and vulnerable about topics like trauma and mental health has helped show me I am not alone and I am no less of a person because of my struggles.  Introduced to me by my now twelve-year-old son, NF has become one of my favorite artists of all time.  Some of my favorite NF songs are - The Search, Leave Me Alone and WHY.

• "We've all got somethin' that we've trapped inside / that we try to suffocate you know hoping it dies / try to hold it under water, but it always survives / then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise / then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies... " - NF, The Search

• "The mind is a powerful place / and what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way / It's pretty cool right? Yeah, but it's not always safe." - NF, The Search.

• "I push away the people that I love the most; why? I don't want no one to know I'm vulnerable; why? That makes me feel weak and so uncomfortable; why?" - NF, WHY.

• "I got layers to me
  I got plans, I got goals, I got tricks up my sleeve
  I got calls, I got deals, I got people to meet
  I got drive, I got soul, I got everything (ayy)
  I got scars, I got heart, I got family to feed (woah)
  I got people mad, I ain't who they want me to be (ayy)
  I got people I don't know tellin' me what I need (ayy)
  Yeah, I got loved ones sayin' that they prayin' for me" - NF, LAYERS

• "I want you to know when you're alone and you feel afraid, you're not the only person in the world that isn't okay.  There's millions of us just like you, like you, like you..." - NF, Just Like You

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The Goo Goo Dolls - I've loved this band since I was a girl, but only recently came to appreciate the deep meaning in their lyrics.  One of their recent songs, Miracle Pill, has been an empowering reminder that I am here to make waves despite my doubts and that I can start over even when I feel down.  Other inspiring songs of theirs include: Black Balloon, Fearless, and Iris.  

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"I don't want the world to see me 'cause I don't think that they'd understand. 

When everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." - Goo Goo Dolls

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"Some days will be harder than others
So we gotta lean on each other
Hands in the air, Hearts on our sleeve

We’re living in a world unfair
We’re living in a world so scared

I’m gonna be fearless fearless
I’m brave enough to feel this, Feel this
I’m running down my demons, Demons
No doubts around it, I finally found it
Fearless fearless
I never thought i'd feel this, Feel this
I finally believe it, Believe it
No doubts around it, I finally found it

I can’t be myself if I’m hiding
If I’m not living, I’m dying
I can’t feel what I don’t know" - Goo Goo Dolls, Fearless

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Tyler Braden

     Tyler's voice is incredible, the feelings and stories he captures with his songs have been bold, and I am in awe of his character.

   All the Ways to Miss You - This song is actually about a romantic relationship, but I ignore those parts so I can instead sing this song thinking of my late mother.  There is something about belting out "all the ways to miss you" that feels so cathartic to me.  Maybe it will be the same for you.  He just released it as single track, but for months, it could only be listened to at the 43:00 minute mark on the recording of this live stream.  I prefer the live-stream version because his voice gets a little more raspy and excited live (though I am no musician, so this is not a technical review).   

     If you watch the entire recording above, you can see his humility, how excited he gets talking about his mother and friends (who join the live stream), and the appreciation he has for the firefighters he worked alongside for years. He dedicates a song of his to those firefighters.  It is called Brother.  The calming reassuring tone of his voice has helped carry me through recent struggles.   I also take this song to have my own meaning, where I imagine him singing the song to me and it feels like a hug - not a quick hi how are you hug, but a long-comforting bear hug that you never want to end, where you feel safe and calm and cared for.  That's a testament to the power of music and is a reason that one of my dreams is to be a song-writer one day. 

      Lastly, his song What Do They Know is an ode to the dreamers and creators and has been an inspiration to continue to push myself, my art, and my dreams.  This site is a direct reflection of the inspiration that song brought to my life.  

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    The Big Infinite

This band is more than just well-written catchy original music, they also openly speak about suicide and mental health.  After the lead singer lost his father to suicide, he and his family created the Ed Lally Foundation, an organization making great strides to end the stigmas, promote awareness and alternative treatments (like guided meditation!), as well as offer resources to help those suffering.  I support their mission so deeply that I have chosen them as the charity to benefit from the line of pendants I made, inspired by Shine, for my niece who took her life.  "I try to overcome / the past that brought me here / the future in my head / built from the worst of my fears" - The Big Infinite, Still An Animal.

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    Moana soundtrack

 I Am Moana by Auli'i Cravalho and Rachel House - "Sometimes the world seems against you / the journey may leave a scar / but scars can heal and reveal just where you are."

 

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    Trolls soundtrack

    Get Back Up Again by Benj Pasek and Justin Noble Paul - "Hey!  I'm not giving up today.  There's nothing getting in my way.  And if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again, oh.  If something goes a little wrong, well you can go ahead and bring it on 'cause if you knock knock me over, I will get back up again."

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To Be Expanded on Later:

     Mushroomhead "You don't know peace til you've had suffering."